


Our Father, Who Art God Knows Where.

by cuddlepuss



Category: Castiel - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1384780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlepuss/pseuds/cuddlepuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is dispirited in his search for his father, and goes to see the Winchesters, where more bad news awaits.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Father, Who Art God Knows Where.

**Author's Note:**

> How will Cas react to failures piling up on him?

The search was taking more out of him than he’d believed possible. No matter how hard he searched, or where he looked, his father just wouldn’t be found. He KNEW he wasn’t dead, he just knew it, but was pulling blanks with every corner he turned. He’d even tried trapping Raphael in his desperation to find, and speak with, his father, but to no avail. It had been easier pulling Dean Winchester out of Perdition than it was finding his own father.

Castiel pondered what kind of father left his children to run, unsupervised, in any manner they pleased, and took himself off to parts unknown. He came to the unwelcome conclusion that Dean had been a better father to his little brother, Sam, than his own father, GOD, had been to the angels and archangels, whom he left to run things while he was away.

Despondent, Cas took himself to the bunker to see the brothers, they usually had some words of encouragement, even if they didn’t agree with him about what he was doing. Despite all his betrayals of them both, the harsh judgements and sharp words, the disagreements and times he’d almost killed the two hunters, they’d always, eventually, forgiven him and let him back in. How much more did they do for him than his own father, god in god knows where, do.

He chastised himself for his lack of faith, his slip in belief in his father may make all the difference to finding him or not. All his brothers and sisters told him that their father was dead, but if he was, then who had brought Cas himself back to life after he’d died? It made no sense UNLESS their heavenly father was alive.

He arrived in the bunker to find it in complete chaos, a broken chair and lamp scattered in pieces on the floor, along with books and papers, a traumatically devastated Dean slumped over the table, the faint smell of smoke and fire clinging to Dean’s clothes. Cas immediately knew something was wrong, and badly.

When he asked Dean, he was told, in a raspy, fractured voice, that the angel in Sam had ‘taken control’ and Sam was no more, that said angel had killed Kevin, and taken the tablet with him when he went. Stunned, Cas didn’t know what to do at first, his own absent father seeming to pale in significance beside the new blow that Dean had been landed with.

After they’d tracked him down, with the help of Crowley, he stood by to assist in the eviction of the angel they now knew to be ‘Gadreel’, an angel that had been in the heavenly lock up since the dawn of time. Cas, as an angel, needed permission to enter a host body, obviously that wasn’t going to happen, but Crowley, a demon, didn’t. 

In exchange for his freedom, Crowley possessed Sam, found the fake library in his mind, and told Sam about Gadreel and how he had to evict him. Cas looked on with grave misgivings, but could do nothing else to help, and that just made his already low spirits fall even lower. First he couldn’t find his own dad, a being as powerful as god, then he couldn’t help to evict another angel that had tricked his way into Sam’s body. What good was he to anyone if he couldn’t even do either of that?

Once Gadreel was out, and Sam and Dean had fought – again, with Dean driving off announcing himself as poison to anyone that got close to him, he and Sam returned to the bunker to try to find a way to track the murderous angel down. Still disheartened, Cas made a sandwich, one of his favourites, only to find that it was, now he was an angel again, distasteful, he could taste every molecule, rather than the mixed flavours of the pb&j he’d so enjoyed. With a disgusted sigh, he left it after one bite, and went to join Sam.


End file.
